67a – Hamble-Le-Rice Part I

Spring was with us today!  Hooray!  But don’t you find that Spring does funny things to people?  It makes them all fidgety – they work themselves up into a bit of a fidgety frenzy.

My wife gets Spring Fidgetivity.  At the first sign of Spring she runs around in a bit of a frenzy with a bottle of sun cream, smothering anyone and everyone who gets in her way. Today was no different.  At the first touch of the sun’s warm rays she reached for the bottle of sun cream and howled a deep guttural war-cry.  The kids screamed and fled before her.  Daffodils were flattened in her wake as she chased us around Hamble-Le-Rice.  Fresh buds hastily withdrew back into the safety of their trees.  Birds scattered.  My wife squeezed the bottle, sending a jet of sun tan lotion right at me.   I ducked and it shot over my head, hitting a song thrush mid-flight, killing it instantly and sending it spiralling to the ground in a puff of feathers where it joined the recently massacred daffodils.

As we ran for our lives Nature desperately tried to retreat back into hibernation.  As all living wildlife vacated the area an eerie silence gradually spread across the landscape.  We ground to a halt amongst the devastation and stood frozen in horror at the carnage around us.  My wife saw her opportunity and pounced.  She poured sun lotion over us like cream over strawberries and then fell into an exhausted and satiated heap on the ground.

You would never guess it was Spring.  We were covered in so much sun protection that we looked like snowmen from the deepest winter frost.  The corpses of daffodils, birds and cute furry animals lay strewn around us, victims of my wife’s Spring Offensive.

I sighed and looked at my wife with her empty sun cream bottle, surrounded by the apocalyptic mess she had created, and realised that our early morning routine for the next six months had now been firmly established.

Hamble-Le-Rice

Points on this part of the walk (copy and paste the co-ordinates into Google Earth):

  • The Battle of Hamble-Le-Rice:  N 50° 51.415 W 001° 18.855

Walk #67 Statistics (of which this post forms the first part):

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5 Responses to 67a – Hamble-Le-Rice Part I

  1. That made me laugh (sorry, don’t do ‘LOL’. Oh I just did. So I do after all). RH

  2. Ha, ha, ha. Love the image of your wife wielding the sun block 🙂
    My husband laughs at me because I pack sunblock and a my sunhat at the bottom of my rucksack, no matter what the weather forecast. I think I am just an eternal optimist.

    • Wingclipped says:

      It’s strange what we pack – I regularly carry winter hats with us on the hottest of summer days. I shall not comment who puts them in my backpack because I’m in enough trouble over the sun cream!!!

  3. Jody says:

    Lucky you (and lucky wife who doesn’t have to hunt you all down the rest of the year)! We have to wear sunblock year-round in these parts. Even when we’re just driving around in the car!

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